Parenting Through the Recruiting Process: How to Support Without Stressing Out

Navigating the whirlwind of college recruiting with young athletes can be a challenging journey for parents. In Episode 21 of "Confident Calm Clutch Car Ride Conversations," host Valerie Alston is joined by recruiting expert and former college coach Quincy Lewis-Buggs to unpack the emotionally charged parent-player dynamic in this process. Whether you're currently navigating college recruiting or anticipating it in the near future, this episode offers invaluable insights for you.

Understanding Your Role

Parents are a crucial part of their child's recruiting process. They’re there to support their kids, but they also have their own dreams and expectations. Quincy suggests that parents should act as sifters, helping to filter through the overwhelming amount of information coming from various sources, such as social media, advice from peers, and recruiting events. This helps ensure that the information that truly matters to their athlete's journey is considered.

The Common Pitfalls

Quincy identifies a common mistake: parents reacting rather than being proactive. Families often wait until the end of the season to discuss recruiting goals, which can lead to unnecessary stress. Instead, having regular family meetings to discuss recent actions, future plans, and check progress can keep everyone aligned and reduce high-energy, heated discussions.

Creating a Family Sync

To align the hopes and expectations between parents and athletes, Quincy suggests a creative approach: send both the parent and the athlete a questionnaire about their ideal college experience, address aspirations for relationships with coaches, and consider geographical preferences. This comparison can open up meaningful conversations about differences and expectations.

Bridging the Gap

When family members have different visions, such as a child yearning to attend a school far from home, Quincy emphasizes encouraging autonomy while guiding decision-making. This independence helps in developing decision-making skills essential for adulthood. If a decision doesn't work out as planned, it's an opportunity to pivot and make new choices.

Seeking Third-Party Perspective

For families struggling to align on the athlete's talent level and potential college fit, Quincy recommends getting an unbiased evaluation from someone with college coaching experience. This third-party perspective can provide clarity on what level the athlete can aim for without the emotional investment present in family discussions.

The Value of Experience

Moving away from home and experiencing college life independently provides significant growth opportunities. Quincy shares personal anecdotes of athletes navigating these journeys, highlighting the value of allowing young adults to make decisions, experience success and failure, and learn from them.

Conversation Starters for Car Rides

At the end of the episode, Valerie offers conversation prompts to help parents and kids discuss their recruiting process more openly. Questions like designing an ideal college experience or identifying stressful parts of recruiting can aid families in having thoughtful dialogues.

By maintaining open communication and supporting, not smothering, your child, you can help them succeed in their college recruiting journey while strengthening your relationship through these critical conversations. Remember to plan and have these discussions regularly, making your car rides count. If you found these insights helpful, consider sharing them with others who might benefit from this perspective.

Join Valerie on the "Confident Calm Clutch Car Ride Conversations" podcast for more parenting insights and tips. Be sure to share the podcast and leave a review if you enjoy the discussions. Your feedback helps spread the message to more families in the youth sports community.

For more weekly tips and conversation starters, subscribe to the Confident, Calm & Clutch Newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter, or follow Valerie on social media. Let us know your thoughts, suggestions, and what topics you'd like covered next. We'll see you on the next ride!