Building Lasting Bonds: Insights from the Confident Calm Clutch Car Ride Conversations




In the final episode of the Special Car Ride Conversation series, join me, Valerie Alston, as I delve into what truly matters in youth sports with my dad and former coach. Spoiler alert: it's not the trophies or the playing time. From understanding the importance of emotional regulation and body language to valuing effort over outcomes, this conversation is filled with honest reflections, hard-won lessons, and plenty of good laughs.



The Human Side of Coaching



It's essential for kids to remember that their parents are human too, especially in their coaching roles. Mistakes happen, and it's crucial to keep the lines of communication open. My dad and I share how pivotal it was to communicate effectively, even when it meant telling him to "tone it down" during middle school games. We emphasize the need for a balanced approach where honesty and openness play key roles in building a strong relationship over time.



Body Language and Effort: The Unsung Heroes



One of the significant takeaways from our discussion was the impact of body language and the significance of effort. Coaches often look to role models like Vince Lombardi, but being effective with young athletes requires more sensitivity. The right moments to express high energy or concern aren't about shouting over mistakes; they're about encouraging effort and focus. Mistakes are part of the learning process, and how a coach reacts to them can greatly influence a young athlete’s confidence.



The Power of Relationship over Results



My dad Greg, who was also a college professor, highlights the lasting influence sports have on developing resilience and work ethic. According to him, students with backgrounds in athletics tend to excel because they've learned to cope with failure and collaborate with new teams. His analysis points to sports fostering better students and individuals, demonstrating why relationships built through sports matter more than the final scores on the field.



Modeling Positive Behavior



Adults have a responsibility to model the behavior they wish to see in young athletes. As we share anecdotes about experiences at tournaments and games, we stress the importance of showing respect and kindness, even to umpires and opposing teams. Poor behavior from coaches or parents can negatively impact calls and create a toxic environment. Through acts of kindness and genuine engagement, teams can earn respect and support from onlookers and officials.



Concluding Thoughts and Prompts for Reflection



As we conclude our conversation, my dad shares valuable advice: humor and grace are better companions than attitude and harshness. The key to constructive coaching is realizing that more is gained through encouragement than criticism. This approach not only builds a positive team culture but also impacts a child’s growth beyond sports.



To keep these important dialogues ongoing, consider these prompts for reflection:



1. Parent-Child Support: When mistakes occur in a game, how can your parent or coach support you in refocusing and responding effectively? Discuss the type of guidance you need.

2. Feedback Preferences: What kind of feedback motivates you the most? Is it cheering, quiet support, or tough love? Talk about how you can align as a team on what works best.

3. Body Language Impact: How does your coach or parent’s body language and tone affect your feelings during games? Discuss non-verbal communication signs and their effects.



Wrap Up



Remember, every conversation is an opportunity to grow and strengthen bonds. I hope this series inspires meaningful discussions between parents, coaches, and young athletes. For more insights and strategies on cultivating confidence, resilience, and mental toughness in sports, consider joining my newsletter at http://www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter.



Thank you for supporting the Confident Calm Clutch Car Ride Conversations series. Do share this episode with someone who might benefit from these insights. If you have topics you'd like to hear more about, don't hesitate to reach out via my social media channels or the link in the show notes. Let's make those car rides count!


​